Decisions
Ever since I was around six years old, I always knew where I was heading in life, to be a Vet. It wasn't until I was around sixteen when that clear idea changed and I discovered my other passions. Ever since then, I have changed my mind multiple times as to what I want to be, and furthermore changed what I am studying.In Grade 6, we wrote in our yearbook about where we would be in ten years time, and I can tell you now this is not where I envisioned myself to be. However, that isn't always a bad thing.
These past couple of weeks, I've had to make one of the hardest decisions I think I've faced in my life. The consequences of how I made this decision led my mind to so many questions. What if I regret this choice, but what if I regret not choosing it? Am I throwing away everything? Am I doing this for the right reason? Am I giving up? What if in turn I don't like this choice either? Am I wasting my life. The thought of all this made me feel physically ill.
This year is my fourth year out of high school, and my decision was to change my study path, so on of top that I was feeling that I was getting 'too old' to go back to Uni. I was worried that I couldn't commit and was wasting my life, and ultimately have no idea what path I was heading.
Even though it was one of the hardest things I've had to do, I managed to the make the decision, and I feel in my heart it was the right thing for me.
During this process I learnt (or at least tried to remind myself) that you need to do what's best for yourself, and live life the way that makes you most happy.
I can't stress enough, if you don't like something in your life, you are the only person who has the right to change it!
It's fantastic if you want to try new paths, but don't discourage yourself if you don't like what you've chosen; that just means you can try something else now. Every choice you make in life will lead you to the place you're meant to be.
Don't have your life together by age 25? So what! Most people don't! Don't compare yourself to what your friends are doing around you; sometimes we just have to follow a different path to get to where we need to be; focus on your own happiness. You're a braver person for it.
I think you can really tell if you've made the right choice in a difficult situation. Of course, I feel sad about what I've let go of, and there is sometimes a sickly feeling in my stomach asking me if I did the right thing. But the weight that has lifted, and calmness I feel out ways that, and I believe that if you've made the right decision, you know.
There is nothing wrong with basing your decision on what feels right for you in that moment!
Always remember, you need to base your choice on your happiness, what feels right for you at that time and what's going to be best for you in the long run.
This may not be the path the twelve year old me had dreamed of, but I'm ready for a new chapter of my life!
Jess xx
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